4 years.

Wow, just like that, I’ve worked in this company for 4 years. Seems like a lot has happened, seems like not much has happened. Perspective, relativity.

I’m glad I made the decisions I made and be where I am today. I can’t say it’s the right or wrong choice because there’s no way to compare to the path not taken. Even if it ends up being a bad career or life decision, at least I got to see something and become the present me. At the end of the day, everything is just character building anyway. I haven’t become the person or pharmacist or team player I want to be yet. That’s still a work in progress, but I I’ve surrounded myself with a lot of good character and know where I need to go. The wide base of knowledge of MO, the work hard have fun balance of CT, the mental toughness of LB, the unsung heroism of CH, the never-let-anything-go of KB, the persistence of VK, the above and beyond of SD, and the perfectionism of AC.

This weekend, I realized my development is diverging me into 2 opposing characters. Part of it is I don’t have KC as my complement, so I have to play both roles. On one hand, I’m slowly going back to my high school self where there’s more self-centredness and being absolutely goal-oriented. It’s good because that’s how we achieve things, but my impatience and lack of being understanding is coming with it. On the other hand, I’m feeling more passive than ever. I’m not serving the world, it’s the world giving me an opportunity to serve. It’s not supposed to be patients thanking me for a medication review, it’s me thanking them to let me try doing this thing for them. When the world gives you a chance to serve or rise, you have to take it. Opportunity but also responsibility.

Admittedly, work is becoming more and more frustrating. Like my dad said, even though I haven’t changed in my big direction or ideals, a part of it is probably just me maturing and developing my own thoughts, moving along on the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s okay, I’m not going to stay here. I don’t like people who just get frustrated and complain about the problem but do nothing about it. That’s not going to be me. This phase will pass.

Opportunistic.

Last week was a weird week where I worked lots but people around me were sick or gone or whatever. It’s like I fell into a tornado and everything is swirling around me. Oh, and it totally doesn’t help my cause that I caved in and started watching Suits on Netflix. Me and TV series do not mix well. I thought I knew better than to fall in this trap again.

Anyhow, I feel like I didn’t make much of a push in clinical pharmacy last week. Just sort of let it be, one week break because of what’s happening around me is okay type of mindset. Now that the week is over, and this week also in fact, it’s not okay at all. I’m not saying I’m taking a shot gun approach we need to do it all this very moment in time, but a week lost is a week lost. Opportunity cost. It’ may not be in the clinical billings for this month, maybe not this fiscal year, postponing the next time I can do it again, etc etc.

When RH started, I gave her my best and most loyal patients to do medication reviews on, as I’m confident they are open to the concept and nice to talk to for a new grad. Looking back, it’s like wow, how did she (we) miss this potential DTP? And this other one? Did I leave too much slack there and just anticipate someone else to do a thorough job? At the same time, I understand that different clinicians approach comprehensive management at different ways and prioritize differently, so I don’t blame anyone or anything for what has been done. So, it’s finally been 6 months and we’re eligible to bill for another medication review. Trying to initiate doing this another time, it’s difficult. It’s not that fresh idea anymore and they don’t feel that dire need for information since not much has changed. How am I going to say it’s me this time and it’s going to be better or more comprehensive? I can’t.

I try to do a thorough job when I do do a medication review. Not only is it part of my job or a chance for me to show my competence and develop that therapeutic relationship, but this is my opportunity window for the next 6 months to make a billing. Perhaps I can make a claim for a follow up, but it’s not the same. We need to take the opportunity and make the most out of it we can. I don’t want to, and scared to, see that 3 months down the road there was this thing I could have suggested. Maybe it’s my ego to admitting we missed something, but nonetheless, opportunity lost.

Not only do we need to live in the moment, we need to take hold of every opportunity and work in the moment.

Look good to feel good.

Started reading another book for my marketing course today, need to blog at least twice a week to be effective. Time to crank up production.

Last week started really well on Monday and Tuesday. It’s been a while since I used hair product, but I did on Tuesday with my 9am show up to work but not have to do actual work until 930. It made me feel really good, just lighter and think clearer. I was in such a good mood I did 7 adaptations that day! I’m never that nice. The rest of the week didn’t go so well, just drowning in coffee withdrawal mode being totally out of my effective productivity zone. It marked the first time I had 3 coffees in 1 day. Not good.

Didn’t wake up early enough to do my hair this morning, I wore a different pair of shoes to work to not start the week on the wrong foot. It felt good. It made me feel like I’m here to work. Did 4 adaptations today. Decent day. So I guess my lesson from last week: we shouldn’t act or be judged based on how we’re dressed, but how we present ourselves changes our perceptions of ourselves, which then translates positively or negatively to our productivity and efficiency.

Zones.

In the past week, I had to do a few things at work I wasn’t super comfortable with. Not ethically, but knowledge wise. Just another few of those times my insecurities and lack of experience shows.

First of all, this is not a bad thing at all. It’s important to recognize where is comfort zone and danger zone, and act accordingly in the challenge zone. Not recognizing when you don’t know enough and following through with it is even scarier and more dangerous.

Actually, there shouldn’t really be a comfort zone. Being slightly careless because it’s within our comfort and that thing we do all the time, missing a single step can lead to severe consequence. Some of them being irreversible. Is good practice really about protecting our own license so we do all the right things or is it to not do something we may regret later? I chose the latter.

Pharmacy practice is and always will be a continuum of simple prescriptions to complex medication management. And even simple can turn out complex, and complex is not so complex. Last week, female patient with good renal function empirically treated for UTI, did the usual counselling on indications, mechanism of action, direction of use, adverse effects; she ended up in hospital with acute interstitial nephritis. I did a med review with another patient on >15 medications with interactions left right and center; everything was well and experiencing no apparent effects from any of it. Point is, there is no simple or not simple. Everyone and everything is in the challenge zone requiring due diligence.

With that in mind, another week of work is about to start. Time to work hard back to the basics, and foot to the pedal and push. It’s the only way. Success builds on little things, and this week will be a little thing.