Core values.

My sister texted me on Friday telling me that it’s opening ceremony. Another year again! She started telling me how the event went and how the organizational structure is changed once again. Council has been removed. This thought stuck with me for a long time and put me into deep thinking mode. Even talked to KC on Saturday.

My immediate action was like, wow after the downscaling year after year, the council is finally gone. At the same time, how could that be? Without a youth-led council, even with the involvement of alumni as volunteers, it’s going to become just another youth program participants go to workshops and complete projects. Where is the unique feature? It is not the same anymore. Being proud of it and recognizing its part of my roots, my immediate response was a bit defensive. Taking a step back, is the removal of this structure an evolution of time and development or is it indeed losing its core value?

After more thought over 2 days, I recognized that it is one of the core values and differentiating features of this program. Since I left, there’s been a lot of changes due to sponsorship, personnel, management, etc. However, the program mission, goals, and value has never changed. Core values are what we must preserve, do whatever we can to make it happen. Maybe the magnitude of the program needs to change, the way it’s done needs to change, but core value is core value, that’s what we strive for. You don’t give that up.

Re-restart.

I really did intend on writing this on a regular basis, at least once a week. Didn’t quite happen with my week off, time to re-restart.

So I had last week off. It’s really been a while, last time was Jan. I don’t feel like I needed needed a break, but I do definitely feel less mentally healthy compared to same time last year; perhaps I just started school last May whereas I’m going through a drag right now, or the Jan break wasn’t as mentally recovering as last year’s March trip.

This week was a special time off though. It means more than any of the other time I had off. Fi is in Vancouver! Only 1 week, so I took the whole week off to spend as much time together as we can. Going to all the familiar places in Van, don’t know if it’ll happen again. I can’t even count how many hours we spent together day and night; every minute of it was awesome, as always. I get sucked out of the reality world and we just go into a happy vacuum where everything is like when we were young. There’s no thinking, worries, pressure, sense of time; even things we need to do that are troublesome is fun. It’s surreal. It’s like paradise.

Fi is special, and always will be. We went through so much of our individual growing up together that our life intertwines and her influence is engrained in my values and goals. I know there’ll be a day when I know what I’m saying right now is silly and totally overplayed, but it is what it is for now. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am with anything without our last 7 years of friendship. I don’t think I’ll be able to be consciously happy or  grind through life or keep commitments to people or chase down my visions and goals.

It’s so nice to have a reciprocating relationship. For many years, there’s always been one party contributing more at different points. But right now, it feels equal. We’re both making our greatest effort to make it happen, actively listening and caring for each other, etc. It’s so beautiful. Reciprocating relationships are just so nice, even in professional settings. If doctors can consult you as a professional knowing your therapeutics and if you can consult doctors because they got the diagnostics, the working therapeutic relationship would just be so perfect. It’s the ultimate pharmacist win doctor win patient win situation, triple win! Admittedly, I’m not there yet and will need to work on my therapeutics before it can happen. But it’s time to start preparing, for “success is where preparation and opportunity meet.” Just like how I need to stock up on my vacation so we can take time off together again, but for now, we need to come back to reality and work hard on what we need to do. Until next time, ciao! Re-restart begins.

(L)

Restart.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I used to write regularly throughout school and beginning of work, started on Xanga in grade 10, stopped for a while, restarted on Tumblr in 3rd year pharmacy then stopped approximately 1.5 year ago. It’s time to restart.

Over time, I’ve really lost my ability to write. I write notes at work and assignments for school, but the content is much more important than good writing. It’s time to work on that again. I’m going to keep to writing English this time, because my OCD kicks in to write symmetrical looking things once I write in Chinese. It then becomes a let’s write something that looks pretty and right, rather than expressing my thoughts the way it is.

I think lots,  especially when I’m driving, which happens to be all the time also. I also think a lot after reading blogs, watching TED talks and movies, but all this is going nowhere. It’s time to write down the thoughts and hold on to it, and perhaps put it into actionable items or think about part 2 rather than rethinking part 1 over and over again.

Writing down these things that happened and random inspirations can help me to document what I have achieved and stay motivated. I remember when I first started working, I wrote about my goals and lessons from the day of work as well as these minute drug therapy problems I resolved to play my part in the world. We’re still achieving, but it becomes just another part of our day when we really should celebrate what we’ve done. Remembering it all is the only way these little differences can aggregate to a bigger difference.

Staying positive. Between a busy life schedule, the day to day grind at work, or the negative energy in pharmacy field, it’s time to remind myself and whoever happens to read this to stay positive. I am positive for the most part, but it doesn’t hurt to be more positive. I may not be able to conquer the world and fix all its problems, but more positive energy will translate my motivation into action and start an upward spiral.