4 years.

Wow, just like that, I’ve worked in this company for 4 years. Seems like a lot has happened, seems like not much has happened. Perspective, relativity.

I’m glad I made the decisions I made and be where I am today. I can’t say it’s the right or wrong choice because there’s no way to compare to the path not taken. Even if it ends up being a bad career or life decision, at least I got to see something and become the present me. At the end of the day, everything is just character building anyway. I haven’t become the person or pharmacist or team player I want to be yet. That’s still a work in progress, but I I’ve surrounded myself with a lot of good character and know where I need to go. The wide base of knowledge of MO, the work hard have fun balance of CT, the mental toughness of LB, the unsung heroism of CH, the never-let-anything-go of KB, the persistence of VK, the above and beyond of SD, and the perfectionism of AC.

This weekend, I realized my development is diverging me into 2 opposing characters. Part of it is I don’t have KC as my complement, so I have to play both roles. On one hand, I’m slowly going back to my high school self where there’s more self-centredness and being absolutely goal-oriented. It’s good because that’s how we achieve things, but my impatience and lack of being understanding is coming with it. On the other hand, I’m feeling more passive than ever. I’m not serving the world, it’s the world giving me an opportunity to serve. It’s not supposed to be patients thanking me for a medication review, it’s me thanking them to let me try doing this thing for them. When the world gives you a chance to serve or rise, you have to take it. Opportunity but also responsibility.

Admittedly, work is becoming more and more frustrating. Like my dad said, even though I haven’t changed in my big direction or ideals, a part of it is probably just me maturing and developing my own thoughts, moving along on the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s okay, I’m not going to stay here. I don’t like people who just get frustrated and complain about the problem but do nothing about it. That’s not going to be me. This phase will pass.

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