After these 2 weeks of reading my leadership textbook, I realized a few more things.
1. As much as I enjoy my job, I’m not a manager. I want to be a leader. I can’t stand the norm, gotta be awesome and finding ways to be more and not so. Leader is not something assigned or told, it’s something I have to earn and prove. I’m fortunate that my starting point is good, because many people have already given me their trust and respect. I need to take good care of that and deliver on my promises; otherwise, I’ll lose it and never get it back the same.
2. I have been proficient at teaching people skills or giving opportunities to try things out, but I have not truly let anyone in on my circle. That’s good because they are improving skills wise, but have they become a better person? I can’t say no because I’ve never engaged in feedback and it’s too deep to just observe. Leadership is about increasing one’s capacity; the capabilities will just follow. I need to let go or let more in to give that growing room for others and then just trust the process. What comes out of it will probably be amazing.
3. I don’t tend to connect with people emotionally or have much compassion. I have very little emotionally resource for myself, let alone others. One of the things about systemic leadership is creating a holding environment for others while maintaining productivity. It is basically being empathetic of their distress but also holding their feet to the fire. I struggle with both currently. This one, I’m trying on a rational level, but I’ll need a little personal development first for the long term win.
Great learning and reflection. Time to work on it. Deliver!