Re-restart.

I really did intend on writing this on a regular basis, at least once a week. Didn’t quite happen with my week off, time to re-restart.

So I had last week off. It’s really been a while, last time was Jan. I don’t feel like I needed needed a break, but I do definitely feel less mentally healthy compared to same time last year; perhaps I just started school last May whereas I’m going through a drag right now, or the Jan break wasn’t as mentally recovering as last year’s March trip.

This week was a special time off though. It means more than any of the other time I had off. Fi is in Vancouver! Only 1 week, so I took the whole week off to spend as much time together as we can. Going to all the familiar places in Van, don’t know if it’ll happen again. I can’t even count how many hours we spent together day and night; every minute of it was awesome, as always. I get sucked out of the reality world and we just go into a happy vacuum where everything is like when we were young. There’s no thinking, worries, pressure, sense of time; even things we need to do that are troublesome is fun. It’s surreal. It’s like paradise.

Fi is special, and always will be. We went through so much of our individual growing up together that our life intertwines and her influence is engrained in my values and goals. I know there’ll be a day when I know what I’m saying right now is silly and totally overplayed, but it is what it is for now. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am with anything without our last 7 years of friendship. I don’t think I’ll be able to be consciously happy or  grind through life or keep commitments to people or chase down my visions and goals.

It’s so nice to have a reciprocating relationship. For many years, there’s always been one party contributing more at different points. But right now, it feels equal. We’re both making our greatest effort to make it happen, actively listening and caring for each other, etc. It’s so beautiful. Reciprocating relationships are just so nice, even in professional settings. If doctors can consult you as a professional knowing your therapeutics and if you can consult doctors because they got the diagnostics, the working therapeutic relationship would just be so perfect. It’s the ultimate pharmacist win doctor win patient win situation, triple win! Admittedly, I’m not there yet and will need to work on my therapeutics before it can happen. But it’s time to start preparing, for “success is where preparation and opportunity meet.” Just like how I need to stock up on my vacation so we can take time off together again, but for now, we need to come back to reality and work hard on what we need to do. Until next time, ciao! Re-restart begins.

(L)

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